And the Next Award Winner Is...

From the Trinidad Guardian Monday 15th October

42 held in two-day police raids

BY RADHICA SOOKRAJ

South Western Divisional Task Force police surrounded the Siparia cemetery on Saturday night and busted a drug den, ending a two-day exercise that netted 42 people.

As the suspects fled in various directions, officers managed to apprehend a 26-year-old man who sought refuge under a tombstone. The suspect was caught lying on his abdomen clutching 20 grammes of marijuana.


At the end of the exercise, a total of 12 people were held for drug-related offences. Three others were held for breaching protection orders, 23 were nabbed on outstanding warrants, while four were held for burglary, larceny, assault occasioning a wound and disorderly behaviour.

The suspects are expected to appear before a Siparia Magistrate today to answer the charges.

What I want to know is how stupid you have to be to see the police chasing you, and before you get rid of the evidence, you lying down on it and trying to hide it. So 20 grams of weed was so important to this man that he he refused to let it go? I think he is line for a Darwin Award.
But I think the police should get an award too. They had the place surrounded and only manage to hold one man? I think I have to agree with my pardner Jumbie and deduce that the police rather duncey.

School Daze

Mrs Dagger, who is an educator in one of our nation's not so esteemed Government-run educational establishments, will on occasion arrive home and throw herself at the mercy of my ears to tell me the most unbelievable of tales. I don't know how she makes it through the day, because the stories I hear are enough to make a grown man cry.
Take for example, the class of Form Four students who actually tried to explain to their teacher that a literary device was something that one hooks up to a computer. The children actually argued the point, not giving way at all. The poor woman had to inquire of her colleagues if she was wrong and actually stupid.
This same teacher gave an assignment, and informed the students that in writing the essays, one had to use one point per paragraph, meaning that each paragraph should centre around one idea. One eager child raised his hand and asked if he could use commas too. The poor woman could not continue the class after that.
Consider the young lady who inquired as to what it meant when someone called one an "embassy." Clearly she meant imbecile. How ironic.
How about the young student when asked in a Principles of Accounts exam to explain what capital was, wrote Port-of-Spain.
One lively lad deduced that the capital of Venezuela was V. Indeed it is, eh.
Consider that it is only the sixth week of the school term and all these events have happened within this time frame. Yes, these are true stories, I kid you not.
And this lack of knowledge doesn't only extend to the lower forms. Sixth Formers are also subject to this stupidity. Consider the entire class of Sixth Formers who didn't know what or where Quebec was. Well all except for one bright lady who said that 'quebec" was the position or place one was in, for example in front or behind. I am still trying to figure that one out. Perhaps someone can help me. Maybe the poor child was thinking of "queueing up?" I don't know.
What I do know is that our education system is in a really sad "quebec."

My New Hobby

I've decided to put my penchant for being grumpy and anal to good use. My new hobby is calling companies when I see their company vehicles being driven by maniacs and reporting the driver. I am finding immense pleasure in doing this. My wife thinks I'm being wicked but I think I'm doing the company a favour. I mean a company vehicle advertises that company. I don't think any business wants to be known for being filled with uncouth, insane people. Well, the Government is, but they don't care anyway.

Think about all the money companies could save by avoiding accidents because the stupid driver would think twice before driving like a fool again. And trust me- a large number of company vehicles are being driven my maniacs. One time one of them came flying down the wrong side of the road and pulled in front of me, almost sideswiping my car. What pissed me off most about that is that he had the audacity to grin at me and salute, as if it was a major accomplishment. This man was driving a minivan full of people. But they seemed to think it was great driving too. Needless to say, his boss got to find out about his behavior, and Mr Boss sounded angry. Another one almost killed my brother and sister in law. He was driving way to fast and hit a car from the back, which in turn hit my family. His excuse...the other guy stopped too suddenly in front of him and he couldn't stop in time. The cops didn't buy that story. Not from the distance that the skid marks spanned. He was just an insane driver.

The success of my mini-mission depends, however, on whether the bosses actually care that their drivers are insane. But I mean right on the back of the vehicle is written "How am I driving? Call (XXX) XXXX, so clearly they should care. I just wish I had a video camera so I could record the stupidity and send it to the company. I'm just doing my part to help stop the madness.