Rumshop Advice

From the Trinidad Express Saturday, May 5th 2007 (Paraphrased)

Prime Minister Patrick Manning's special adviser, Herbert Atwell, is paid $23,000 a month to give advice on matters of national concern among his many duties.
Atwell is employed under contract as director of public affairs for the Prime Minister, and in addition to his salary, he receives a transport allowance of $2750, a phone allowance of $500 and a subsistence allowance of $100 a day when travelling on official duty beyond 16 kilometres from the Prime Minister's office.
Atwell also enjoys an advance of $175,000 to purchase a vehicle which was bought tax free, as well as an advance to cover insurance expenses. A further advance of $20,000 was allocated to cover repairs to the motor vehicle.
Atwell's duties include reviewing and revising press releases, organising meetings with Manning internationally and locally, making recommendations to Manning to organise events, conducting meetings with citizens and organisations seeking Manning's intervention, as well as providing briefs to the PM about national concerns and issues.

So Patos, you paying a man $23,000 a month to advise you and still you doing nonsense? Clearly this man giving you bad advice. He ent worth the money. Listen Patrick, some of the best national advisers sitting down right now in various bars in Trinidad and Tobago. You want advice? All it costin' you is a drink.

One cold Carib and your rumshop adviser will tell you that you losing popularity because of your damn arrogance and not caring what people say or feel. These are the same people that vote for you that you snubbing now. These are the same people that could NOT vote for you later.

Another Carib and you will find out that Trinbago people getting wise now. They say if you put a crapaud in a balisier tie to run for elections people will vote for it. Not so again eh. All that free education we getting.. we using it eh.

A nip of puncheon and you could find out that building a big big stadium in San Fernando doh make sense if the people still can't go to the hospital for some basic healthcare. If your population not healthy, which sports they going to play? People sleeping all on the ground in the hospital and you building big big stadium for who to play in? Your adviser like he himself sick. Hmm.. I'll drink to that! Another round!

What bout the water problems? Ah bottle of Johnnie Black and you will find out that it not right that for years and years we know that all WASA pipe leaking and WASA in a mess. Instead of fixing the water problem though, you decide to build a big big smelter that nobody in the country except you want, to pollute the little bit of water that we have. When people in the country start to bawl you say you giving $600 million to fix up WASA. This is right after you say you giving $600 million to fix up road. So after we fix up de road, WASA could come and dig it up again. Anodder $600 million. Meanwhile, poor people in Barrackpore bathing in chicken farm water and drinking it too. Lawd meh head spinning. Like I drink?

Another rounds of Johnnie dey, Patos boy. Nice. All the big big building you constructing, that driving the prices up. Your buildings going up and prices going up too. You ent doin nothing to help control high prices, but instead you contributing to it. What you say? We have to develop these industries to progress? Eh heh? Take a trip down Singapore pardna. Them doh have much natural resources, only human resources and still them economy among the best in the world. Them decide that this is the age of technology and computer run tings. So them developing plenty computer business. They have oil business too eh, just like we, but them concentrating less on dem smoky industry and moving with the times. Electronics and ting. Ah read dat on de Intahnet Patos. You know what dat is? You know what a computer is?

Most importantly Patos, and you getting this one free because my head spinning and I cannot drink anymore. God give you two ears and one mouth for a reason. You does talk too much stupidness, Patrick. Listen to what you saying sometimes nah. Some of the tings you say, you embarrassing yourself and the country. Better to say you ent know, but you will find out and get back to we. But doh say the first thing that come out your mouth, nah. They say George Chambers was duncey? Patos, I feel you is the man that have that title right now eh.

See? That ent cost you no $23,000, and you getting advice that working. So hear what to do. Fire Herbert Atwell and hire the first drunkard you meet in any rumshop. It go be money well spent.
Cheers!